Breathing
by JamieTyler
Summary: Read Strangle first, summery inside. Rated M just to becareful.


This is a sequal to Strangle, so you may want to read that first. Ryan Miller is back and Jesse's in his sights. So what happens if Brennan doesn't get there in time?

Warning: rapeslash, but i don't think it's too graphic. just to be sure it's rated mature.

Enjoy, and please reviwe. They always make me smile.

Ty

- line -

_Breathing_

Had it really been that long? A year?

God it didn't feel like it. But it was true, a year.

Only a year…..

"_Hell's making room for you…" he sneered and bit into Jesse's flesh. After he drew blood, he pulled up and continued, "Hell's making room for you freak, can you feel it? Can you Blondie?" He bit Jesse again, his lips this time. It's calling for you Blondie, it's ready for you. Go to it freak……"_

But that was a year ago. All in the past and Brennan had taken care of it…of him.

Ryan Miller, an empath. He was an experiment gone wrong at Genomex. They fucked up his head, and then let him go. He could tell who the New Mutants were and he went after them. But it was so much more then that.

They, Eckhart, had trained him to be the exterminator. They had made him, not on accident, but on purpose. They had picked a child who had showed serial killer traits, and they had mutated him, on purpose. The idea was if they couldn't capture all new mutants, they'd kill them all.

Ryan Miller was their idea. He was as much a victim as assailant. He had no choice in what they did to him. They brain washed him, trained him, and forgot to lock him up one night. He escaped and had gone out into the world and done the only thing he knew how. He killed; every new mutant he came across he killed. Seven in total, almost eight, if Brennan had come when he did…

But that was all a year ago. That was all the past, and Jesse was safe. He was still alive, still breathing...

- line -

"Hey handsome…" came the soft murmur from next to him. It was early…way too ungodly early and Jesse had no idea if he was going to sleep or waking up. Didn't feel like he had, had any sleep. It didn't matter, though, as he awoke to the feeling of the hand on his thigh. A rough, strong hand with a gentle touch.

"What time is it," Jesse sighed as the hand moved upwards.

"Does it matter?" Brennan asked, propping himself up to look at Jess. The younger man's hair was tossed and falling in his face. His eyes were still closed, but fluttering. His golden body was exposed from the waist up, his skin warm and smooth.

Jesse's eyes opened slightly and he got a look into Brennan's, dark with some animalistic need, a need he felt rising in himself. "No, it doesn't," he answered, his voice growing thick.

Brennan smiled, a cocky smile, one that said 'I'll get away with whatever I do to you,' and managed to straddle Jess. He pinned the moleculer's arms above his head and moved in for the kiss. A deep and aggressive kiss that sucked the breath right out of Jesse.

No, nothing mattered to them right now, nothing at all……

- line -

"What had you so upset last night?" Brennan asked as he cradled Jesse against his body, his hand brushing lightly against Jesse's abs.

"What do you mean?"

"I could feel you moving most of the night, twisting…you didn't have a girl in here did you?" Brennan teased.

Jesse smirked, "What makes you think it would be a girl?"

Brennan moved his hand to lower parts, causing Jesse's eyes to flutter and his body to tense. He leaned his face close to Jesse's and whispered, "'Cause you're to well trained.…" Brennan tightened his grip and smirked as he watched Jesse arch slightly.

"Bren…" Jesse said breathy, his eyes doing their fluttering dance that Brennan loved so much. Jess didn't get to say much before Brennan stole his voice…and for the second time that morning nothing mattered to them.

- line -

"Hey Em," Brennan called as the red head walked past him in the hall.

"'Morning Bren," she said, smiling as she took in Brennan's appearance. Brennan was dressed as always, in a t-shirt and designer jeans, his hair was spiked and he seemed as normal as could be. But Emma was an empath and a woman to boot, and there was no way he could hide the afterglow that surrounded him. And she just couldn't resist… "A very good morning it seems to be. So tell me, is Jesse just as bright as you are today?"

Brennan blushed slightly as Emma giggled. She was his best friend and the only one who could make him blush. "We had a good morning, ok?"

Emma just nodded, knowingly.

Brennan turned serious on her though, and his face darkened slightly. "Emma, did you get any hits off Jesse last night? I think he was having a nightmare, but he wouldn't tell me anything."

"Wouldn't or couldn't?" Emma asked, with raised eyebrows, trying to keep the mood light, but Brennan wasn't having it. Emma sighed, when it came to Jesse and his well being Brennan could never be swayed. "Jesse has been having nightmares lately. But that's all. There's nothing else," she said as reassuringly as possible.

"Just nightmare?" Brennan repeated, "Why is he having nightmares?"

"He almost died Brennan…" Emma said softly, her eyes growing distant as she remembered that night.

"But that was a year ago…to day," Brennan sighed as the realization hit him. "He's having nightmares because Ryan Miller tried to kill him a year ago today."

Emma nodded.

"Do you think they'll stop after tonight?" Brennan asked looking at her, almost pleading with her. "He's been having them for a week now, he needs sleep."

Emma just shrugged. She didn't know.

- line -

"I'll only be gone for a night…" Jess said as he pulled some cloths from his dresser.

Brennan watched him from the bed, a worried look on his face. "I know," he said, "but…"

"I'll be fine Bren. It's so routine I'll be done and asleep before eleven," Jesse said with a smile. "All Adam wants me to do is a system check on the safe house. It's been getting wired readings lately and he wants to make sure that the computer isn't crashing."

"I know, I know, and the next thing you're going to say is I can take care of myself. And I know you can, it's just…" Brennan drifted off, suddenly finding the bed spread interesting.

"Just what?" Jesse said, sitting on the bed next to Brennan.

"Nothing," Brennan sighed, looking over at Jesse, into those big blue eyes. Why was it that when ever he got this close, nothing else in the world was noticeable? It was like his eyes were pools and Brennan was helpless to drown in them.

"What Brennan? It's just what?" Jesse pushed.

Brennan pulled himself away from drowning and looked down. "It's been a year…"

A silence filled the room, and Brennan wasn't sure if it was a tense silence or a shocked silence. He was tense, but he didn't know about Jesse. He couldn't bring himself to look up to see the play of emotions on his lover's face.

"He's dead," Jessed finally said, firmly.

Brennan snapped his head up and looked at Jesse. "But Jess…"

He was stopped with a kiss. Soft and gentle, a shy propping and nothing deeper, yet it was still passionate, still powerful.

"He's dead," Jesse said again, pulling himself away from Brennan. "He's dead, and I'm still breathing."

- line -

Jesse sighed as he entered the safe house. All day the others had been asking him how he was doing, if he was alright. He was actually kind of glad Adam had sent him here. He could at least be scared in peace.

He had never forgotten that night, Ryan Miller. What Ryan Miller had done and almost done to him. If he looked at his neck in the wrong light he could even still make out the traces of the bite mark. No he had never forgotten how helpless he had been. And for many nights after that one he had not been able to sleep.

Brennan had always found him, there in the dojo. Trying to work out the helplessness, fear and shame, but only managing to work himself into exhaustion. It had been Brennan who had carried him back to bed and held him through the nightmares. And it had finally been Brennan to get through to Jess that he was safe.

Even so, he was still scared. All the 'what ifs' that kept playing through his mind. That was when Jesse decided to find out all he could about Ryan Miller. Everything he could. It took him nights of hacking, nights of research, but he did it. And along the way he was also able to save some other new mutant from having Ryan's fate. He had turned the hunter into the hunted in some wired way, with his research of Ryan Miller. Thus he had replaced his fear with victory.

But a week ago it had all come back to him. It had suddenly dawned on him that, that night was coming back. And that was when the fear had started to creep back in him.

"There's been another murder," Shal said as she entered the safe house. She tossed down a newspaper on a chair and flopped down on the couch.

"Another one huh?" Jess said, absentmindedly.

"Uhhuh, same MO, same story, a blond hair guy in his twenties was strangled to death."

"What's that make it? Number ten?" Jesse asked.

"Yup."

A few months ago Shal had started to follow a case in the local paper about a serial killer that had been killing young men. It had caught her eye because it was so close to the time of Ryan Miller and the victims were so like Jesse that she had thought it strange. But there had never been any evidence that it was Miller and he was dead after all.

"It's a shame. Are they any closer to who it is?"

"Nope, all that they know is that the person's strong. They think it's a guy," Shal said.

"You don't?" Jesse asked her, an eyebrow cocked.

"Not at all," she said with a grin, "I think it's a pissed off girl who's killing every guy she can. She's working on the blonds now, but she'll move onto brunets next week."

Jesse smirked at his 'sister', "How'd she over power them? There were never any drugs in found in their system."

Shal had an answer for that one, "She's feral."

"What? Are you admitting to the crimes? Want me to get you a lawyer?" Jesse teased.

Shal laughed and shock her head.

"PMS in action huh? I told you to talk to Adam about that whole kitty heat thing." Jesse continued, causing Shalimar to start a whole new wave of giggles.

After a minuet though, she was able to gain control. Standing up she grew serious, "You'll be ok here?"

Jesse nodded, growing equally as serious.

"Alright bro, take care of yourself. You call us if you need anything, and I mean that," her face broke into a wicked grin, "Emma and I can have Brennan here covered in chocolate syrup and wiped cream in no time."

It was Jesse turn to break down into a fit of laughter at the thought. "Get out of here," he managed to choke out. Shal, who was laughing just as hard, gave him a hug and then made her way out. Leaving Jesse alone to regain his composure.

- line -

Jesse sighed and leaned back in his chair. That was the tenth and last system check he had to run on this place before he could turn in. A quick glance at his watch told him he had been working for nearly five hours straight and his aching back confirmed it.

It was now six pm and he was actually finding that he was tired. 'No wonder, when was the last time you actually slept a whole night?' he thought as he stood to stretch. 'Well after this scan is done you can turning.'

Jesse looked around the small safe house, taking it all in. It was an underground, one room apartment with a living room, dinning room, and kitchen all basically rolled into one. There was a hallway to his left that head to a bathroom and a master bedroom and that was it. It was neatly furnished of course, with a sofa, a TV and everything else an apartment needed. There was food in the kitchen and it was a rather cozy place. But it wasn't home.

Jesse sighed and turned his attention back to the computer. "Thirty more minuets…"

Above him, the door opened and closed and Jesse turned to face any intruder. "Who's there?" he called in his most aggressive voice, but there was no reply. There wasn't even a sound. Jesse moved from behind the computer over to the stairway that lead up to the street. He never made it to the stairway. A big blurry mask lunged at him, knocking the wind from his body and tackling him. Jesse hit his head on the ground and the world went black.

- line -

He awoke when the ice water hit his face and rolled down his bare chest. But it was a dazed kind of awake-ness, a confused and blurry kind of awareness.

"Come on Blondie, wake-y, wake-y…"

That voice, there was something familiar about that voice, but Jesse couldn't understand what. Slowly he began to pull himself from the fog and back to the world. The first thing he noticed was that his arms were bound painful above his head so that he was forced to stand straight, almost on tip toe, to provide some form of relief.

"What's the matter Blondie? Feeling just a bit helpless?"

The next thing he noticed was that his shirt had been removed and there was water dripping from his hair onto his bare chest.

"I wanted to strip you completely," the man said, "But then I thought, what fun would that be if you weren't awake."

The third thing he noticed was the man that stood in front of him.

"No…" Jesse chocked out, shock and fear strangling his voice, "You're dead…you're dead."

Ryan Miller laughed a horrible evil sound from deep in his chest. "Oh no Blondie. I didn't die. Sure I was hurting, but I wasn't dead."

"H…how…" Jesse stuttered out.

"Same way I got out of Genomex, I faked it," he said as he moved closer to Jesse, breaking the spell of fear that he had been under. "See, one thing that I can do that I never told anyone, is I can make myself dead. All I have to do is breath in and out and then go to sleep. I can make myself dead just like that."

Almost instantly, Jesse remembered himself, and tried to phase. Miller froze and watched as Jesse's ghost firm started to materialize, but seconds latter it was stopped as the governor in Jesse's neck kicked in.

Jesse let out a scream of pain and arched his body a bit before sagging as much as the ropes would allow. The man laughed again, and closed the distances between he and Jess. He took a hold of Jesse's chin and pulled him up so that Jesse had no choice but to look at him and said, "Thought that I'd forget? That I wouldn't remember about your little power? You really are stupid Blondie, you know that? But damn, if you still aren't pretty…"

Miller pressed against Jesse's lips with his, using so much force that Jesse had no choice but to open his mouth and allow him to enter. He was hard and rough, aggressive with his movements as he forced his tongue deeper and deeper into Jesse's throat. Jesse started to choke, and thus he started to struggle.

Miller just changed his grip. He wrapped one hand around Jesse's waist and pressed Jesse's lower body into his. Then he moved his hand from Jesse's chin around to cradle the back of his head and again forced Jesse closer to him. But Jesse still struggled; as much as he could he struggled. It only earned him a backhand.

"Don't you dare try to deny me!" he yelled angrily at Jess. "Don't you dare!" He then began to circle Jesse, looking him over as he walked. Jesse stood taunt, trying his hardest not to tremble as he followed him with his eyes. 'This isn't real, this is a nightmare. He's dead, Brennan killed him. This isn't real…' he chanted over and over again in his mind, but it did little to help.

Miller stopped behind him; Jesse could feel his eyes burning into him. He felt Miller's arms wrap around his waist, and he tried to shrink away, but it was useless. One arm pulled his body close while the other's hand undid the fly of his pants. Jesse's breathing increased in speed and he was growing closer and closer to hyperventilation as he felt the hand reach down into his boxers.

"Oh, no, no, no, don't struggle…Shs, Shs, Shs, calm down, hush. You like this, I know you do…."

"No…" Jesse whimpered.

"Shss…it's ok, just relax. I want to play…" he whispered into Jesse's ear as he took hold of him and began a massage.

Jesse groaned from the unwanted pleasure and his eyes began to flutter. Brennan had always teased him about how sensitive he was, but Miller was going to find away to twist it against him.

"See, you're already excited," he said and he pressed hard causing Jesse to shudder.

He could feel him, hard and ready against his jeans and it made Jesse sick. He shut his eyes and bid himself to wake up. Jesse felt him switch positions, so that he was in front. He felt him pull on his jeans and the fabric drag on his legs as it was forced lower, until it was gone completely. His boxers followed and soon he had nothing left to hide behind.

The man just stood back, staring at Jesse, an evil smirk on his face. "I was wrong," he said, his voice husky with lust, "You are gorgeous."

- line -

Brennan sighed. It was eight o clock on a Friday night and here he was stuck in Sanctuary. There was no purpose going out, what fun could he have with out Jess? He flopped down on his bed and pulled a book off the end table. It was going to be a long night.

- line -

He moved into Jesse, again running his hand along the length of his body. He pulled a knife from his back pocket and drew the blade across Jesse's side. A line of deep red spilled across his skin and Miller was quick to lick it up. He repeated this action several more times in different places until Jesse's torso and back was dotted in red. He took great enjoyment from the hiss of pain that each cut brought from his victim and even more so from the other way Jesse's body responded. Miller next cut the rope above Jesse's hands, causing him to crash to his knees.

He was in front of Jesse in no time, and with one hard kick to Jesse's side, he knocked him to the floor. Several more kicks to Jesse's stomach and chest forced him onto his back. Miller straddled Jesse as he continued his assault, now using his fist to hammer down on Jesse's unprotected midsection. When it was over, Miller moved up, to Jesse's face, forcing his mouth open, and then forcing himself into Jesse's mouth.

Jesse shuddered and bit back a sob as his mouth started to work with out his mind's permission. He could here Miller's sigh and feel him shudder as he began to come and Jesse's movements grew more frantic.

"Slow down, slow down. We've got time. I want to play," Miller said, his voice coming out thickly.

'Just stay breathing Jess,' he told himself, 'just stay breathing.'

- line -

"Hey Bren, you want to out with Em and I?" Shal asked, "We're going down to Oliver's, thought you'd want to join us."

Bren looked up from where he was stretched out reading. He smiled at the blond who was leaning against the door jam. "What, and watch you and Em make out with hot guys while I can't?" he said jokingly.

"Oh, come on, you know we wouldn't tell," Shal responded with a roll of her eyes, "We'd be having too much fun watching!"

Bren laughed, "Yeah, but Jesse would figure it out and I'd be dead. No sir-re, an angry Jesse is not what I want to face in the morning."

"He's been gone for like what, seven hours?" Shal said.

"Yeah…what?" Brennan asked confused at Shal's question.

"Go see him Bren, I bet he misses you too," and with that she was gone.

Brennan shook his head and got up. "You know what, I think I will…" he said to the walls.

- line -

Jesse moaned as Miller ran his tongue along his thigh, licking up the blood that trickled from one of his many bite marks. He tried to pull away, but there was no where for him to go. Miller had moved him into the bedroom. Jesse's hands were again tied above his head and Miller had straddled his legs, pinning them down.

Another moan escaped Jesse as he felt Miller, now on his other thigh, bite down and twist. Miller seemed to have a thing for oral play, as he had spent most of his time torturing Jesse with his tongue and teeth. He had a pattern that Jesse was now very well versed in, he'd toy with him, make his body responded the way he wanted it to then he would make him come. But the toying always went on to long for comfort causing more pain then pleasure, like now…

Miller worked his way over to Jesse's groin. Jesse shuddered as he felt Miller's mouth engulf him. He arched his back as another moan escaped him. Miller's movements were harsh and almost violent and Jesse's body responded eagerly to him, but Jesse's mind fought him.

"Please…" he whimpered, but it was useless, Miller just quickened his pace.

After several minuets Miller moved his mouth from Jesse's groin up his body to his mouth. "Mmmmm…taste so good..." he said into Jesse's mouth as he forced his tongue in while at the same time he undid his pants.

Jesse pulled away from him, "Don't," he said, the fear evident in his voice.

Miller laughed, "You and me…your soft skin…I'm going to fuck you freak," he sneered as he forced Jesse onto his stomach.

- line -

Brennan made his way to the safe house totally oblivious to the world. His only thought was that Jesse was a few short feet away. It was eleven o clock, and Jesse was probably asleep and Bren found himself regretting his decision to hold off on coming. He had waited for Em and Shal to leave, not wanting to put up with the jibs until he and Jess got back in the morning. But then again, sneaking out made it seem more fun some how…like high school.

As he approached the safe house, thought, his spidy sense went off. He didn't know what, but something was wrong. The electricity in his body had started to flow, like marching ants, and every sense the street had given him was going off. And rightfully so.

The door to the safe house wasn't locked, it wasn't even closed. It hung slightly ajar and Brennan pushed it open and eased into the house. He wanted to rush in and call out for Jesse, but reason told him to hold off until he was sure of what was happening. He made his way silently down the stairs.

In the living room his hart stopped, his mind focused on nothing it just flashed pictures at him. Dots of blood, Jesse's cloths, rope, drag marks…It didn't seem real. Then he heard it.

A soft groan that turned into a stifled scream. It came form the bedroom, and that was all Brennan needed. Brennan threw his street sense to the wind and raced over. "Jesse!" he called out, franticly as he entered the room. He was not prepared for what he saw.

Jesse was on his stomach, his body exposed...battered. Ryan Miller, the man he had killed a year ago, was on top of him…inside him……

Brennan froze as Ryan Miller and he locked eyes. For a minuet he was tossed back a year, tossed back to a dark ally when he had his hands around Jesse's throat. If only it were that again…

For a minuet all they did was stare at each other before Brennan's trance was broken by another moan from Jess. Instantly all the confusion and all the questions he had were shadowed by rage.

The marching ants in his body suddenly gave way to a stream of electricity, one that couldn't be detained. And Brennan didn't care. He sent the most powerful bolt of electricity his body had ever created into the man on top of Jess.

It knocked him off Jess and into the wall across the room. His body twitched as he baked from the inside out. There would be no faking death this time; Ryan Miller would die from his hart exploding.

Brennan staggered over to the bed where Jesse was still bond and face down. He never even so much as glanced in Miller's direction. "Jesse…" he gasped out, fear and pain weighing on his voice. As gently as he could, Brennan undid the ropes that imprisoned the younger man and turned his lover over, cradling him in his arms. "Jess…"

Jesse's eye lids fluttered and he looked up at Brennan, red rimed eyes and a tear stained face looked up at Brennan. In that moment Jess looked so young and helpless, so painfully helpless. And so lost, so scared and hurt; Brennan felt his hart constrict.

"Shss Jess, I got you now," Brennan said gently, trying his hardest to hold back his own tears. He took in Jesse's battered body, the bloody cuts and those beautiful eyes so full of pain…he felt himself drowning in the misery they held.

"Cold…so cold…" Jesse whispered, almost afraid to speak.

Brennan slipped off the jacket he had been wearing and rapped it around Jesse's shoulders. "I'll be right back," he told him as he lowered Jesse back onto the bed.

Jesse just nodded; he was too out of it to care.

Brennan did return moments latter, with Jesse's cloth, only to find an unconscious Jess. Again fear took hold of him and he rushed to over to Jess, franticly checking for a pulse. He breathed a sigh of relief when he felt it, strong and steady. Jesse had just passed out, and Bren decided to let him stay unconscious. If he was a sleep he couldn't feel anything, he couldn't think.

He set about dressing Jesse and getting him home.

- line -

It had been a long week for Mutant X. A long painful week as Jesse recovered and the others tired to come to terms with what had happened.

When Brennan had brought Jesse home and Shal had learned of what had happened, she had gone back to the safe house. When asked where she had gone she simply said, "To make sure he could never come back."

Jesse had spent most of the week in his room, not really hiding, but thinking. Brennan had stayed away; he couldn't get that night out of his mind. Thus the two hadn't seen much of each other and the strain was visible taking its toll on the both of them.

"What do you think it's doing to him, the fact that you won't go to see him? How much do you think that's hurting him?" Emma said, finally cornering Brennan in the dojo. He'd spent a lot of time in there as of late.

"And what am I suppose to say to him?" Brennan snapped back.

"You don't have to say anything, just hold him," Emma said, keeping her voice calm.

"And what if he doesn't want me to touch him? What if he doesn't want to be touched?" Brennan whispered, fear shining in his eyes.

"Then he wouldn't be asking for you."

So at Emma's urging, Brennan made his way to Jesse. Brennan knocked lightly on Jesse's door, but there was no answer. His hart in his throat, Brennan eased the door opened slightly. His fear eased as soon as he saw the sleeping figure on the bed. Jesse was spread out on the bed, his hair tossed and messy, as always, in his face. He looked so young, but unlike that night, he didn't seem helpless or scared.

Brennan walked in, shutting the door softly behind him. He moved over to Jesse a soft smile played across his face. He gently brushed some strands of hair out of Jesse's face. Jesse's eyes fluttered open and a smile played across his face as Brennan came into focused.

"Bren…" he sighed as he pulled himself up.

Brennan smiled at him. The signs of that night were still there. Bren could see the discoloration on Jesse's chest as well as the bite marks that still covered him. "Hey handsome," Bren said his familiar greeting, trying to keep his emotions under control. He sat next to Jess and took his hand.

Jesse watched him with curious eyes. They were quite for awhile until Brennan spoke, "I'm sorry…" he said softly.

"You're sorry? What are you sorry for?" Jesse asked, equally as soft.

"I was late…I…" Brennan chocked and looked away from Jess.

"You weren't even suppose to be there at all…" Jesse said after a minuet or so. "But you were…for the second time you were there……" Jesse's voice drifted off as he focused on the wall. "The worse part was knowing that no one expected to hear from me, no one expected to see me until the next day and no one was going to stop him. And I knew that he was going to kill me," Jess continued, a tremble in his voce.

"Jesse, I'm sorry…" Brennan repeated.

"You keep saying that, but what are you sorry for?" Jesse asked, maneuvering himself so he could look at Brennan's face.

"I killed him last year…he should never have…I killed him!" Brennan cried.

"That wasn't your fault, he had this trick…he could make himself dead. He fooled us all," Jesse said.

"How can you be so calm? How can you act like nothing happened!" Brennan exclaimed, anger rising in him.

Jesse flinched, he knew that Brennan wasn't angry at him but…"I'm scared Brennan. I'm fucking scarred! I can't sleep at night with out hearing his voice!" Jesse yelled as his own anger was growing. "It doesn't matter how many showers I take, how long I stay in the water I can't get clean!" Jesse's voice cracked and his body shuddered.

Brennan pulled him into his arms right away and started to rock him. Jesse tensed for a second, but then relaxed against Brennan's chest. His body started to tremble and Brennan knew that he was crying, though he made no sound. "I got you Jess…I got you…" Brennan said over and over again.

"Yeah," Jesse choked out, "You always do…how come I can never save myself?"

A silence settled over the two as Brennan continued to rock Jess.

"Thank you," Jess said as he regain control of himself.

"You never have to thank me Jess. As long as you're still breathing you never have to thank me."

Jess leaned into Brennan and sighed. As long as he was breathing everything was fine.

End


End file.
